Tuesday 28 June 2016

Back at Base

 So far, being on holiday was fun.

But here I was, back in the flat with Derek going crazy, and me going out of my mind.

When Ash rang me to ask to stay over: adding his parents were going away for the weekend.   Yes it meant I got away from Derek but I wouldn't be spending a lot of time with Ash, as he would be working.

However, we had a fun weekend and then the day hit I had to go.

I started dreading it, because Derek had began to try it on again, constantly, and Ash could see I no longer wanted to be there, but that I had no choice.

I went home and spent time with Chloe: only to have Derek on my case about cleaning and some other pointless things.   Well, my back was playing up so he offered me the bed and he would have the sofa.   I jumped to the chance to have a good night sleep and have cuddles with Chloe.

Well, this is where my life took a turn for the worst.

I woke to find him spooning me in bed.

Now you can imagine what happened to me, that night, but what hurt the most was having to tell Ash and my mum.

They both said I should ring the police, considering everything that has happened to me in the past, this would be the first time I called the police.

Because of his actions that night me and my little girl were homeless. I fled my home, applied for housing, and was sent to a hotel where I had to live in one room with Chloe.

My mental state took a turn for the worse and i was self harming as much as i could. It took a strain on my relationship, as well as my sleep. I was having nightmares and flashbacks.

Now I never will understand why he did it. All I know is, he is sorry.

Which doesn't take the nightmares away or bring the lost confidence back.
  

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